Wednesday, July 27, 2016

16 Years and yet...

So I had to use math to figure out that I have been homeschooling for 16 years. That seems crazy to me, but when I look at my children, I see that most of them are either adults or very close to being there. I have two graduates, and three in school this September. They will be in 8th, 10th, and 12th. I can't believe I am going to have another senior, and I can't believe I am almost done homeschooling my third child. I simply do NOT know where the time went. It feels as though it flew away so quickly.

I wonder, as most homeschooling mothers wonder, did I do enough? The answer (to me anyway), is probably not, but God is able to do more than we ask or think, and His plans are perfect. I regularly feel like I am not doing enough, but I know that most homeschool mothers think this way. I know that most of us struggle with the time that is given to us - and those of us (like me) that work from home, it is doubly so. I am *so* grateful for my ability to work from home, but it is still hard, and does take its toll. I am not complaining, just being honest.

I have a hard time looking at old photos as I see the changes that have so swiftly taken place. I have become that mom that shares with her younger mom friends, "Love those babies! Enjoy this time! Don't worry about the laundry!" The older I get, the faster it goes. So I resolve to have a good year, but I feel that I don't really know how to do that very well. I am struggling to get it all together even though I have some really awesome curriculum to use this year. I am so blessed with what we have. I wonder if *I* am able. Do you ever wonder that?

I know that God is able. I know that He is able to come along beside me and help me to be who He needs me to be.

"If we must come to Him for the small things and can be assured of His wise provision, how much more can we bring to God the "big" things and be assured that the same wise Father is at work?"

I read that today, from this article. What a powerful message - that we are dependent on God for every single thing - every single day!

This really hit me:

"On the journey through the wilderness from Egypt to the Promised Land, daily dependence on God's provision was the way of life of God's people.

What the Israelites -- about two million men, women, and children continually on the move for forty years -- needed for each day, came that day, and was enough for that day. No Israelite could hoard the leftovers, because as they soon learned, they would be stinking and worm-infested the next day."

I get worried that I won't be enough; that I won't be able to plan in the right way, or do the right work. But maybe it isn't supposed to be planned out every day. Maybe I need to trust that God has us well in hand, all the time, each and every day - just like He has for the last 16 years.

I want to remember that this last year is a gift. That I will never have this time again. I don't want to waste it.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning."
(James 1:17)

I saw this on Facebook the other day, and saved it. I don't know who created it, but I loved it. I hope it helps you too. God is able. Always.


Charlotte said...

Kate, this was beautiful. And what I needed to hear this week. Thank you for sharing your heart.

Kate said...

Thanks, Charlotte! <3