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Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The fullness...

Most of you know that I lead a life that is really very full. Sometimes so full that one area overflows into another and well...it is a mess all around. There is not a lot of margin in a busy homeschooling mom's life, and my life, as a work-from-home mom in addition to our homeschooling life pushes that margin to really really thin.

Here is my honest heart: I frequently feel like a failure. I don't really know a homeschool mom that does NOT feel like a failure on a regular basis. We struggle with this a lot.

This past Monday, I was not a good example. I did not handle a personal situation very well at all and lots of proverbial feathers flew around the house. People's hearts got hurt, and well, it just stunk all around for everyone. Sometimes life is so very hard.

But...

God sends us friends that speak the truth to us in love. "Out of the blue" (as they say when really we mean, Providentially) a dear friend called me. "You have been on my mind a lot today. What is going on?" I just opened up and sobbed. I feel like a failure all the time, at everything. Nothing I do is right. I am so tired of fighting for everything that's important. I am so tired of feeling like I cannot do anything right.

Did she tell me I was a failure? No. She told me it was a lie. She encouraged me by telling me the truth that life is hard, but that the way I was viewing the situation was not the truth. Christ has equipped me with all I need for life and godliness. His Spirit dwells within me and directs my path.

Psalm 16:11
"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

Life will be full of hard things, and I will sometimes do things the wrong way. I will sometimes really disappoint my children, my husband, my Crew team, and pretty much anyone that knows me.

John 16:33
"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

But I am more than a conqueror through Christ--because of what He has done for me.

Romans 8:37-39
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,  nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

There will be days of heartache in the future, I know that. However, I am a child of the King and I am forgiven through Christ because it is He that has paid it all.

1 John 4:4
"...Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world."

I am not a failure. You are not a failure. He is all sufficient.

Jude 1:24-25
"Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy,  to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen."

13 comments:

Pebblekeeper ~ Angie said...

Love and Hugs to you my new cyber friend. I know we gush about it on the forums, but really, we didn't even know we needed you, but He did. I can't tell you what the changes have done for me. Not. A. Failure. Don't listen to the Father of Lies. ;) I'm glad you are rooted in the Word. Love to ya.

Under the Sky said...

Oh Angie, thank you so very much.

You just don't even know.

Thanks.
Kate

Julieanne said...

Well, I just have to say that anyone who has had something to complain about since you came on board really has nothing legitimate to complain about! You have been so kind, helpful, encouraging, and everything we all have needed - as well as getting your job done well for us!

I will miss you and the Crew tremendously, but I don't want to have feelings of failure next year when starting to teach high school at home, by doing too much and being too involved in other things besides homeschooling and homekeeping. I appreciate you tons and am so glad that you are honest, refreshingly honest, and that God has used you in the ways He has done this school year. Hugs!

Julieanne
http://www.JoyInOurJourney.com

Under the Sky said...

Julieanne,

Oh, I didn't mean that anyone was complaining. They have not been. :) My life this week has just been harder than normal--and I felt it.

I will really miss you. Thanks for your kindness!

Warmly,
Kate

Debra said...

And in the midst of you feeling like a failure, you were encouraging ME.

Father of Lies is absolutely right. You've got a wise friend.

Brandi said...

Kate - Thanks for the encouragement! God is so gracious to pick us up when we fall.
I am convinced that the whole homeschool failure feelings that all of us homeschool moms seem to have is a work of satan. Thankfully we have a Savior that did everything perfectly, since we could not : )

Karen said...

This was a great post. Very encouraging. Thank you for being transparent. I just love the way you are running the crew. I hope you have a fabulous day!

Charlotte said...

I think I could have written this post; as homeschooling moms we are really hard on ourselves and tend to look at our child training/educating, home-working, as a cause-effect. If I do this, then that will be the result. So untrue! I will fail every day, and hurt those I love the most. Thank God for His grace and forgiveness, and that He works through all things, even my sin. And thanks be to Him for bringing those friends into our lives that encourage us when things get hard.

Love you, my friend.

Marcy Crabtree said...

well, I think you know I could have written this post. in fact, I think I did. and I was able to write the post I wrote because of what you did for me, friend.

I adore you.

Under the Sky said...

Debra, you always encourage me. It is a JOY to work with you. :)

Brandi, amen and amen! I am so grateful for real beautiful friendships--in persona and over the net!

Karen, you are a real blessing to me. Over and over, your kindness is a blessing. :)

Charlotte, I love you too--and I know you understand. I am so grateful you are here in my life!

Marcy, I feel the same way!! I adore you back. <3

You ladies are SUCH rich blessings!!

Warmly,
Kate

Homeschooling Drewper said...

Oh Kate....been there done that Baby Girl!!! I am really glad you had a friend to swoop in and lift you up -> God is so good isn't he! Lately I can totally relate - we all go through it - I wish we were the super moms we try so hard to be! But sometimes....it's just hard! Sad thing is, I haven't had to play one of the major rolls (super wife) and I still can't seem to keep up!! ~smile~ Any time ya wanna vent - PLEASE email me - I could probably use the ear too!!
PS
Thanks for sharing your heart. ;-)

Lots of love to ya my sister!

Under the Sky said...

Suzanne,

Thanks SO much for your comment! I feel a really lovely kinship with you and I just appreciate your kindness very much. :)

Hugs to you as we put on our capes. :D

Warmly,
Kate

Diana M. said...

Kate,
What a wonderful thing to have such a wonderful friend. I'm glad she was there for you. I wish I were she.

...but... I'm in my own home, with the piles and piles all around me. Friday was my homeschool curriculum fair; Saturday was a Science and Technology Festival in DC, and my daughter now tells me the in addition to the concussion she has whiplash. The insurance will pay us (what won't buy a car), because the car is not worth fixing.

And it is okay, because God is in control. [And I am glad I was able to get my review in on time, nevertheless...] Now, off for a little relaxation time alone with hubby. Tomorrow is another day of getting through the schedule, trying to get the laundry done, some decluttering done in this living room, and some more lesson planning so we can finish this school year well.

Blessings, my friend!
Diana