Saturday, May 12, 2007

On this day

You know, I feel so blessed to be a mother. There is nothing in the world like it. There is nothing like the tremendous feelings that becoming a mother can elicit. I have not felt comfortable being the recipient of the accolades that fall to me on Mother's Day for a long while now. I shared my feelings on this last year and I can say that I don't really feel any differently this year. I thought I might as well share it again:

To be a mother is a wonderful gift, but not something that should be looked at in a lighthearted manner. Being a mother is a huge responsibility, and should not be taken on lightly because those newborn babies are so darling. Those babies turn into older children who need and require much from us--training, love, time, attention, schooling, feeding, clothing, almost all of us really we feel sometimes! Then they turn into young adults, who then really need their parents--perhaps even more than they did as little ones.  All along much is required of us; and much of ourselves is given.


Do we celebrate our roles as mothers? I am not sure what that means really. What is Mother's Day to you? I mean *I* do what I do not because I am selfless, but because it is my job, or my role that I took on when I became a mother. When I had a child I immediately took on the many roles and responsibilites that came along with it. Would I change it? Oh no, but I don't really know that I think that I should be celebrated for doing what is really my job to do. I appreciate the kind sentiments in my children's card to me:


"Dear Mama: Happy Mother's Day! I love you very much! You are the best mama I ever know." 


"To the perfect mother. God has blessed you with many gifts."


"To the mother that loves and understands me and always cheers everyone around her! I love you more than words can say!"


"Dear Mama: I'm soo sorry I lost the shoe. Would you forgive me? I love you soo much and tomorrow I will write you a letter."


These are all precious sentiments to me, but I know the real me inside. I know I was really angry this morning because my daughter lost her nice church shoe. I was angry that yet again I will have to search high and low through the house to find it--if indeed it can even be found. I know I was testy and frustrated and angry this morning. Not much worth celebrating there. Wow, Mom, thanks for the great greeting in the AM--we sure love you too.


See, and there is the rub. I really don't deserve to have a day in celebration of ME because I know who I am deep inside. I know that I can be terribly selfish and irritable, and that I do what I do sometimes because I have to do it, not because I have a selfless heart. I am a mother by default some days and that just isn't right. I want to have that selfless heart that is so lauded on Mother's Day. It is not me though. What is me is a person who is not worthy of my five beautiful children, of my husband who would never steal my children from me, and not worthy of my Savior's love, the blood He shed for me so many years ago. Yet, I have it all. I have all these things and am UNWORTHY. But He gave them all to me anyway because He loves me--truly selflessly loves me--even me.


Thank God that where I am weak He is strong. Thank God that when I am weary of well doing that He never grows so. That God that He gives me all that I need in Himself. I am blessed over and over and over. Thank you, dear precious Lord, for all these precious gifts today.



Deborah said...

Thanks for this Kate! I echo your sentiments on Mother's Day! Praise God for His great Love and Mercy for us in our imperfection!!

When all is said and done, I can only hope the message my kids receive from years in my care is one of the Gospel itself. We are learning together to stand beneath the flood of God's beautiful grace -- on one hand knowing we are so undeserving and on the other hand being overcome by the utter delight of it!! I sometimes worry that my sinfulness will turn my kids from the Lord (ruin my witness), but it is good and right to remember that my sinfulness is there to keep turning ME back to the Lord :) When I am not perfect...so stinkin' often...I remember my great need for a Savior!


Peruvian Lily said...

Thank you for that beautiful message! As someone who is not yet a mother but will love to become one someday, I really appreciate your thoughts and sentiments on motherhood.

Melkhi said...


I get angry with my kids fairly easily and it is ugly. Not too long ago, someone got extremely angry at me and it felt devastating. It caused me to reflect on God's mercy towards me though I deserve His wrath and that I have no right to be angry at my children. Yes, they may disappoint me just as I may grieve the Holy Spirit, but I need to be tenderhearted and forgiving of them even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven me. Your post reminded me of these thoughts.

esperanzavallero said...

How beautiful, I too fall short so often, and am longing to have victory over my flesh, (discontent, irritation, etc.)oh wretched woman that I am, who will save me from this body of sin and death. Praise be to God, we are more than conquerors through Christ.

Let it be true in my life