Sunday, May 14, 2006

What a gift...

This woman must have tremendously mixed feelings on this mother's day. I can only imagine the joy and the fear all mingled together--and the same feelings for the daughter. I am thankful that I have the husband that I have. I am thankful that he understands what a covenant before God and man is. I am thankful that he knows the Savior and believes as I do that our lives are forever joined together. I am so thankful he would never do that to me. It is what I teach my children all the time--choose wisely for your spouse. Do not wander foolishly down unknown roads.


Their father is a good model for my daughters of what a husband can be--we understand each other (for the most part!) and we enjoy each other. We both have serious committments to our Savior and understand His hand and rule in our lives. We also understand that we are in need of that Savior for all of life--for all our marriage struggles and for all our children. We know that they are a gift from Him, given for a time into our care, but not lightly.


To be a mother is a wonderful gift, but not something that should be looked at in a lighthearted manner. Being a mother is a huge responsibility, and should not be taken on lightly because those newborn babies are so darling. Those babies turn into older children who need and require much from us--training, love, time, attention, schooling, feeding, clothing, almost all of us really we feel sometimes! Then they turn into young adults, who then really need their parents--perhaps even more than they did as little ones.  All along much is required of us; and much of ourselves is given.


Do we celebrate our roles as mothers? I am not sure what that means really. What is Mother's Day to you? I mean *I* do what I do not because I am selfless, but because it is my job, or my role that I took on when I became a mother. When I had a child I immediately took on the many roles and responsibilites that came along with it. Would I change it? Oh no, but I don't really know that I think that I should be celebrated for doing what is really my job to do. I appreciate the kind sentiments in my children's card to me:


"Dear Mama: Happy Mother's Day! I love you very much! You are the best mama I ever know." 


"To the perfect mother. God has blessed you with many gifts."


"To the mother that loves and understands me and always cheers everyone around her! I love you more than words can say!"


"Dear Mama: I'm soo sorry I lost the shoe. Would you forgive me? I love you soo much and tomorrow I will write you a letter."


These are all precious sentiments to me, but I know the real me inside. I know I was really angry this morning because my daughter lost her nice church shoe. I was angry that yet again I will have to search high and low through the house to find it--if indeed it can even be found. I know I was testy and frustrated and angry this morning. Not much worth celebrating there. Wow, Mom, thanks for the great greeting in the AM--we sure love you too.


See, and there is the rub. I really don't deserve to have a day in celebration of ME because I know who I am deep inside. I know that I can be terribly selfish and irritable, and that I do what I do sometimes because I have to do it, not because I have a selfless heart. I am a mother by default some days and that just isn't right. I want to have that selfless heart that is so lauded on Mother's Day. It is not me though. What is me is a person who is not worthy of my five beautiful children, of my husband who would never steal my children from me, and not worthy of my Savior's love, the blood He shed for me so many years ago. Yet, I have it all. I have all these things and am UNWORTHY. But He gave them all to me anyway because He loves me--truly selflessly loves me--even me.


Thank God that where I am weak He is strong. Thank God that when I am weary of well doing that He never grows so. That God that He gives me all that I need in Himself. I am blessed over and over and over. Thank you, dear precious Lord, for all these precious gifts today.



Edelweiss said...

Thank you for posting such sweet sentiment concerning motherhood.

I've been very tired lately (due to extreme busy-ness) and my Mother's Day treat was to rest, which I did. Last night as I reclined on my bed while reading The Englisher, my dear daughter brought a handmade card and roses from our garden. My heart was touched and my bedside is lovely now. She's my joy and delight!

JenIG said...

this may be the best mother's day post that i've read. take good care of my coie while you have her.

:) love you!