Thursday, January 19, 2006

Submission and Homeschooling - Hmmm?

I am posting this in light of a conversation on a board I read. I am curious how your homeschool was born and what would happen if your husband up and said, "We are putting them in public school." or "We are putting them in private school." How would you respond?


I look forward to reading your responses.




ServingHim said...

I have had my dh say this! When my son was going into 8th grade, my dh felt that he should go to ps. I didn't agree but submitted. It was hard for me but my son is now in 11th grade and is doing well. We have an older daughter who graduated from home school two years ago and I'm still hsing my youngest dd, who is 11.

I didn't want my son to go to ps because I kept hearing all the horror stories about public school. The school he goes to is not perfect but we have been very pleased. Some of his teachers are believers and it is nice to know they are praying for him. There is a lot of parental involvement there and I think that makes a big difference.

Over all, it has been a good decision. My ds has grown and matured, he has been involved in activities that our hs community could not offer and I also learned that obedience and submission bring blessing.


Elaine <><

spunkyhomeschool said...

Which school and what do I need to do? He already knows how I feel. (He reads my blog!) So trying to change his mind wouldn't be an option for me.

UndertheSky said...

I am asking what would you do if your dh said to put your children in public school? How much input/decision making ability do you as a Christian wife have over where your children are educated? I know how your husband feels so perhaps it is too much to ask this of you. I am in the same place with my husband because he would never ask that of me knowing how I feel about homeschooling. I am trying to figure out what role submission plays in the life of a family when something is asked of the wife that she clearly and strongly disagrees with.

I am trying to figure out what other Christian moms think submission means with regards to their lives as mothers and homeschoolers.

Thanks, Elaine, for your response!



spunkyhomeschool said...

As to what input I have I would say a lot. As to final authority I would say very little. So when you asked what would be my response I would say to my husband, "Which school and what do I need to do?" Meaning I would get behind his decision and put them in whatever school he said to put them in. My right to decide to HOW to educate them is just one consideration. My call to be one with my husband is greater in my opinion than my right to decide the choices for my children. My children will survive a failing school system but they will have a harder time surviiving a failing marriage.

UndertheSky said...

Thanks for your response. "My children will survive a failing school system but they will have a harder time surviiving a failing marriage."

I could not agree with you more here. I am just trying to find a line I guess - perhaps that is the wrong word - as to where women fit into the decision making process for our children and what does the Bible say about it. I know the bible says to be submissive to one's husband - I don't dispute that at all. I really am trying to figure out what that exactly means. Not because I am trying to get right up to that line or anything (grin) - I just really don't know exactly what that means. It can be taking in *so* many varied ways - from a working together in love with the husband guiding and leading in Christ-likeness or it can mean that the woman has no say, no mind, no input.

I have seen both spoken of as right! I am trying to find out exactly what the Bible means when it says in Eph. 5:22-26. There is a whole lot more there than just "wives submit to your own husbands" and I think that a large part of Christendom forgets the second part. What does it all mean together and how does that work out in a family? That is what I am getting at.

Thanks, Spunky - I hoped you would weigh in!



Donnabooshay said...

I personally believe that the command to submit over-rides my wants and dreams as a homeschooling wife. The Bible doesn't say to submit only when you want to submit.

It doesn't even say you can skip submission if your husband is not a Christian. Nope. Submit anyway.

Because it is in obedience to God that we submit...and it glorifies God.

My husband was not a Christian when I brought up homeschooling. After seeing me study and the interest I took in it...he said yes. I would have never done it if he said no. (I had two boys in public school at the time)

Two years later my husband didn't feel comfortable with me homeschooling in high school. So our oldest boy went to a Christian school. I told my husband he could decide where Patrick would go.....and I prayed and trusted God to work through him. My husband picked the Christian school.

God honored my obedience and submission and protected my children...even with an unbelieving father.

A few years later my husband came to the Lord.

I have been homeschooling 12 years. Patrick has allowed me to homeschool Emma from k-11. We have a little girl (six) and I will continue to homeschool her as long as we feel it is best for her.

We take it a year at a time....

My husband is not hands on at all....but I trust that no matter what happens with the schooling....as long as I submit to my husband in this area....God is glorified...we have a peaceful home....

God is ultimately in control.

I trust Him and His ways.


Anonymous said...

We started to homeschool "by accident," just an afternoon kinda thing while we were in France, and continued it because our public schools (where we are now) are atrocious and we can't afford private. We both work outside the home, and we trade off homeschooling days.

We've always been a come-to-an-agreement couple, so I have a hard time picturing dh just up-and-deciding to stop. And I trust that he wouldn't argue against homeschooling without a really good reason. But he would "owe" me those reasons before I agreed. He's *never* been the "submit to me" type, and I've never been the "nag until I get my way" or "do what I want without his approval" type. We've got a mutual submission thing going. But since he actually does half the homeschooling, this is one area where I would *have* to honor his wish to stop, if he really were committed to stopping. It's just that he and I would both expect that he would have to have reasons that I could honor.

I hope that if I were in Donna's situation, I would react with the grace she has. (I'm so glad to read your story, Donna!!)


That is a really tough one. Wow. I think I would be very very very bummed, and then maybe have to kill Paul. LOL, kidding. I am blessed in that we are so similar in principles. But maybe that's part of it. Early on in marriage, a foundation would hopefully be established where both parties are growing towards each other, and not adopting radical new ideas apart from the other. Hopefully the husband is COMMUNICATING with his wife (and vice versa). Paul and I have changed a lot over the years in our beliefs (learning how to divide God's word correctly), how we handle situations, etc. But fortunately, because we are both such TALKERS (and take every opportunity to gab with each other), we kind of grew together in those newer directions. Sooo, when we do have a disagreement, it's generally minor, since we already are on the same page where all the 'biggie stuff' is concerned. In fact, often, the height of the disagreement is one of us reminding the other of WHAT we have already agreed on in the past and to get with the program ("Remember, you nut?!!"). All that to say, I don't know. I know a wife should ultimately submit to her husband. When women have asked us in the past if they should obey their husband's wishes for putting the kids in public schools, we said, "Obey your husband....and pray." But that may be too big a broad sweep. For some, it is sin to send a child to public school (for us it is). So see? I'm not much help here.

Love you and am praying for E.